This week on Lunchbox we grabbed an Uber to the airport (5-stars because he didn't kill us), felt violated by airport security (if it's so random, why am I always 'randomly' selected?!), and, Marlborough Savvy-B in hand, settled in for our Air New Zealand flight to the Land of the Long White Cloud.
First thing we noticed? New Zealanders have a few unique expressions. For example, an Australian's 'esky' is a New Zealander's 'chilly bin' - makes sense, that describes the object's purpose quite effectively (and adorably in a Kiwi accent, tbh). A beautiful 'bushwalk' through NZ's speccy landscapes would be described as 'tramping' - okay, sounds little bit offensive to vagrants, but that also checks out. What makes less sense is describing a small cabin or shack which dot the coastlines, as a 'bach' (pronounced batch). Some say it comes from the word bachelor, which is odd because they're almost always family holiday homes. Others say it comes from the Welsh word for small, which would make sense except that's pronounced more like that German composer guy you might have heard of.
Anyway, we're not here to question you, NZ. We're here to ogle and admire you. And, ultimately, to give a virtual rose to your hottest, most mouth-wateringly livable bach. You're standing there, dazzling, in a stunning, Nicole-at-the-Oscars-esque azure gown, single red rose in hand...
Who will you choose as Lunchbox's most hottest (yes, most hottest) bach? Stay tuned (scrolling) to find out.
In no particular order, we present to you, New Zealand's 10 Hottest Baches. Who are you going to go home to?
Hot Bach #10
While he might have a rugged exterior, Sled House has a warm and generous heart. A sled champion, this bach is a free spirit (and incredibly flexible). While he doesn't have a fixed-address, he's ready to move on to the next adventure (or part of the beach) at a moment's notice - just fire up the tractor.
Hot Bach #9
At first, you might feel Coromandel Bach is reserved, even closed. But once you get him to open up, you'll realise he's casual, laid-back and has an incredible view of the world - you'll never want to leave him.
Hot Bach #8
A sailor in a former life, Port-a-Bach has travelled the world, but now he's ready to settle down with a family. While Port-a-Bach is happy and grounded right now, if you ever get itchy feet and want to pack up and move? He'll be right by your side, lugging all your valuables.
Hot Bach #7
Mature, with a modern sense of style, Field Way Bach has enough life-experience knows who he is and what he wants. While he's a traditionalist at heart and just wants a family to go home to him, he can still appeal to the modern bach-hunter. He's the silver fox of the baches, but thanks to a recent facelift, he's showing no signs of slowing down.
Hot Bach #6
While this bach had some wild, experimental uni days, he's now ready to commit. Studio 19 Bach's unorthodox upbringing means he has a unique perspective on life and living and a cool, easy-breezy attitude.
Hot Bach #5
While not technically a bach, K Valley House is upfront about his open relationship (with nature). While your first impression might be old and weathered, on closer inspection you realise this is a stable, self-assured home at one with himself and the world. K Valley House wears his passion for recycling on his facade and the avid film buff certainly has cinematic charm.
Hot Bach #4
Raw, honest and humble are the three words you'd use to describe Timms Bach. If you enjoy a lazy Sunday afternoon relaxing by the fire in what feels like your own little slice of solitude, then you two will get along just fine.
Hot Bach #3
This surfer has rippling abs and a sunny, laid-back demeanour. Whatever your mood, OffSET Shed House will be ready and willing to please. Come summer, he's a real entertainer, opening up onto shady courtyards and charming all the guests with his witty puns and quirky perspective.
Hot Bach #2
This toad sure turned into a fine prince charming. What were two basic (and cheap) sheds have worked hard to become the ever-alluring Gogo Bach. While he used to dance for dollars, he is now a fine, upstanding bach. And while his wildest days are behind him, he still loves to do everything alfresco.
Hot Bach #1
A lover of the outdoors and very handy, when Easterbrook House isn't camping, he's tinkering away in the shed. While he might seem utilitarian, Easterbrook House is actually deeply intimate (you'll learn that in the sunken lounge) and a true family man.